My day was full of choking back tears and trying not to lose it at any moment.
Growing up you are always ready to run, ready to leave, and ready to 'start your life'. Along the way people try to tell you not to be in a rush and enjoy your youth, but who wants to listen to that!? Not me.
I loved my life and my childhood but like every kid, I wanted to make my own decisions and be out on my own where no one could tell me what to do, and I could live the free life. That happened, for about 6 months. :O)
Standing there today, my two babies got their first haircuts at a salon, and all I could think was "Where is the rewind button?" I saw it all in fast forward up to that moment and it made me sad to see all that I had missed along the way because I was in a hurry to get to the next moment.
In those few moments, I took it in and my heart was filled with joy and so much happiness I couldn't believe where my life has traveled to. Jayce is 17 months in 3 days, and Bekah is going to be 7. 7!? I can remember where I was, what I was doing, and what I wanted at 7. I wanted it all to hurry up so I could be 8...13...16...18. I hope Bekah doesn't but I know she's a little girl and does. We've already had the conversation how when she is a grown up, she is going to change her name to Penny. LOL She saw it on a show and thinks it's a pretty name and wants it to be hers. I agreed, when she's grown up, she can and I will always remember that moment even though she won't.
Then there is Jayce. My little boy, my heart melter. He lost his baby curls today and to me looks 6 months older! I tear up right now as I think of it because it hurts. He's changing so much, I see it every day and I know he will be grown much faster than I want. He's so handsome with his new haircut, but it's that first official step that he won't be a 'baby' much longer.
Mama's know. Thought of my mom a lot today too. You miss so much of who your parents are when you're a kid, that it really isn't until you have a little angel with ten fingers and ten toes, show you what parents really do for a child. What real parents do because it's through real love, the purest of love, that they want you to be happy.
It is the best gift to my kids if I can help them understand and know that love. When I say I owe everything to them, it's true because without them I wouldn't have been able to feel that love or to understand my Mama's love for me.
After their haircuts with their lollipops. :O)
