Beaches of Hawaii :: Part Uno

The kids are out of school until October 12th for Fall Break and I decided to make sure it's a fun one, so we are going to explore the island of Oahu and go to a different beach every day.

Saturday, we made it down to Lanikai Beach on the leeward side, and even though we weren't there for very long, it was a nice start to our adventures. :O) The sand there is so soft and fine, that the only pain in the butt is it sticks to you majorly!! We shared the day with my friend Emily and her son Xander. The kids really do enjoy having a friend there and it makes it doubly nice for me to have another adult to share conversation with. After the beach we hit up a burger place in Kailua and ate some yummy grub.

Today we decided to try out White Sands beach on the Leeward side thanks to a friend of Emily's. It was more packed than I thought it would be but again the day turned out awesome!! We were there for about 4 hours and the kids soaked it up. I love that side of the island because you have a beautiful view of Waikiki and Diamond Head off in the distance. Not to mention Jayce loves that he can see airplanes flying over head from the airport nearby. That kid is crazy about his airplanes and helicopters. It was pretty wavy but the older kids love it for boarding, and to make it even better, they could go out 1000 feet and it was still only about 4 feet deep. I even made it out once and enjoyed the waves. The kids found shells, sea glass, and buried each other a couple times. I loved every minute. After, we went to grab subs and salads in Kapolei and then headed home. It really was an awesome weekend and I am excited for tomorrow, think we are taking the kids snorkeling at Sharks Cove. The older ones really want to snorkel :O)

The beautiful view of Waikiki. The ugly fence is to keep people from going over towards the rocks, even though some still made their way over there. Taking a break for snack. Still at snack time, but this time getting a smile from a group of 4 happy kids. Love those faces!! Jayce had his turned to be buried and they really packed him in there!! After the boys buried Bekah. It is always so great to see them play well with one another. Memories in the making. Me trying to soak up some sun.

Life's Lemons

I've been feeling very....oh what's the word? Resentful? Bitter? Angry? Annoyed?

Not quite sure but it's a negative feeling towards the sour lemons life has been tossing my way lately.
I try each day to keep walking in the positive and to see my glass half full, but I find at the end of each day I feel like, again, I have failed.
Where are we? Day 174
One Seventy Flipping Four!! In 10 days it will be 6 months down since I saw my Man In Boots and am feeling the strain of doing this alone. Trying to carry the stress of everything I keep adding to my plate has me more than overwhelmed.
Let's start with a month ago Michael came and as much as I love him, it's one of the hardest things I've ever known to be a step mom. Unless you are a step parent, with no disrespect, you can't relate. He has started acting out and showing a lot of disrespect. I can only feel like I am failing him and like I'm not a good person for him. I don't know, maybe caring for him, moving him to a new place, in the middle of a deployment with the evil step mom was not the best decision on our part. I'm not giving up though, it's just making me doubt who I am as a parent.
Then we can move on to Mike's health scare. You want to talk about a panic attack....that was a major one. For Four days I barely slept, broke down at the drop of a hat, and felt so helpless. It's almost been a week since it started and I still have an overwhelming need to cry constantly when I think of it even though he's back at work.

When I watched his plane leave until I could no longer see it, I turned and got in to my car with the constant fear I may never see him again because Afghanistan might take him from me, but I never thought about his health. So consumed with the worry of injury, you think more of that than losing him to his own body failing of sickness. Well not anymore. Another dose of reality is what I learned with that one. That man is everything that makes my heart skip. Everything that I could ever imagine true love being. To imagine life without him....is not something I can even shutter at.

On to today, carrying all the stresses of the last couple weeks on my shoulder, I woke up sick and so did Jayce. Poor little guy is miserable when the nasty Mr. Disease knocks at his door but he really does handle it well. No cleaning was done, kids didn't make it to school. Bekah missed the bus because I overslept, and I mean OVER slept. Staying up until 3am wouldn't have been bad if the sickness didn't crawl in my bed as I slept. Regardless it feels like a wasted day, and even though yesterday felt like a success, it didn't last. My question to life for myself is when will I get two days of feeling amazing....in a row?? WHAT do I need to do to make it that way? I have an amazing life, I know it, but yet can't recognize it when life throws one, or two lemon at my feet. :O/
I am a blessed girl, I just wish I could find a way to recognize that in my darkest moments, and let that carry me in to the next thought, instead of the million overwhelming emotions that flood in istead.

Here's to trying again tomorrow....

Extended Break : Over

It's been a while! Seems I start that way every few months on this thing because I fall in and out of blogging. But the Break (again) is over.
I need my OUT for this deployment. I have done well with not feeling the constant need to pound out my frustrations on the keyboard but I feel it all stacking up inside.
We have made it through the first full month of Deployment and in that month, I have had numerous break downs, numerous lift ups, Bin Laden was killed, and one of our Soldiers from 3rd BDE gave his life for the War in Afghanistan.
It's very emotional to go through the day to day, but I do it. Somehow, I do it.
I am not always at my best and too many days I feel like I am failing at keeping it together but most importantly I am still trying. God Bless my babies and brother, for they put up with all my emotions and each time I snap, yell, or lose my mind on them. Yet, half the time THEY ARE WHY I do that, it still dissapoints me that I can not keep it together 100% of the time. I won't lie or try to pretend that I can handle every second of the day with a smile, because I am human and can't. My promise to myself, Mike, and them is to try harder the next day and even when I fail early in the morning, I keep trying as the day goes on. :O)

One of my snaps was just this evening. Jayce decided to take the laundry detergent and poor it all out into my drawer below the washer. We have the front loader style with the pedastal underneath and when I saw the detergent continuing to fill up my laundry room floor, I was not happy to open the drawer and see it full of blue detergent. I got quite frustrated because it seems my 2 year old can NOT leave things alone that he has been told NO to a hundred times. He is smart and he knows better but he really is a menace. I took him straight to his room and put him to bed. He wasn't happy with me for that but sometimes a Mother knows it is just better to not "deal" with the child in the moment. If I was a cartoon character at that moment I would have had my head spinning in circles with steam coming our of my ears and nose.
Everyone knew I was not in a happy place, because when I came back downstairs to clean up the mess, both Bekah and Jonathan had quietly dissapeared to their rooms. LOL They are very smart kids at times!!
Then came the joy of cleaning that up! Now if you have ever tried to clean up laundry detergent it is quite a challenge. I decided to use hand towels to scoop it out of the drawer and rinse as much as I could in the sink. Which I need to say to housing, THANK YOU for the deep sinks in the launrdy rooms. It really is one of the only things ya'll have done right in making these homes and it has become my life saver on numerous occasions.
Back to my clean up process, it took a while and then I had to clean the floor with a seperate cleaner and paper towels because of course the detergent makes the floors slippery. *sigh* I was quite lost on what would be the best option on how to handle the towels soaked in detergent that after rinsing them as much as possible, I put them in the washer!!
Take a moment....can you imagine what happened?? SMH
Think about it....
Just another second....
Did it come to you????
Yep, SUDS!! And suds in a front loader are not like suds in a top loader. It took almost 3.5 hours to do one load becuase the machine had to keep stopping to let the suds pop and then rinse again. As I write this I am actually able to finally get that load out of the dryer. My laundry room and that load of towels really do smell good. They should, they were only treated to a full on cleaning with a WHOLE bottle of detergent.

In all of that stress and what felt like errupting emotions, I was able to realize how lucky and grateful I am that Jayce was not hurt. He didn't try to drink it or get it all over himself and is upstairs sleeping peacefully.
Tomorrow might bring even more madness but as Mommy, I am ready.

Trying to hurt Goodbye

Can't sleep.
Not sure if it is can't, or don't want to.
The whole house is asleep and all day I think of sleep and climbing in bed but then when the time comes I just lay here.
I can just stare at the ceiling, listen to him snore, and feel the tears roll down onto the pillow, leaving a wet circle for me to eventually pass out on.
Now I don't want sympathy and definitely not pity because I know I have so many who understand and relate. I'm just sharing.
There are times the darn thought of him leaving just makes me so emotional and pissed that I want to scream. You know the crazy girl outside with her hands in a fist, being pushed down by locked arms and stiff legs, shaking body, tilting her head back and making a scream that sounds more like a woman who would rather break something, hurt something, anything than just let out a noise. The sound that when you hear it, it's better to steer clear. But the thing I'm angry at isn't anything I can physically touch or put my hands around. After all how do you hurt goodbye? It has all the power in hurting you.

I'm so tired of goodbye. See you later. Watching him walk away, knowing everything that everyone involved is going to miss out on. Mostly him. Praying that This Time when he comes home, it'll be easier than the last. I'm just angry, then sad, then angry, then numb. It's all exhausting really, yet I am laying here in my bed punching out the white blocks on my phone hoping it will make me too exhausted to even be exhausted with the thought anymore.

The days are passing so quick that to fall asleep and let the night take anymore time seems like I should he punished for not taking advantage of every moment. To fall asleep and wake up knowing for however many hours, I didn't listen, or run my fingers up and down his arm, it feels like a crime. How can I let that slip by?

If it were only a few months, I'd be okay. That's a piece of cake for me. No one should have to know for a year that each holiday, birthday, anniversary could be your last or to know you won't have this next year. It'll be atleast 2 years before it rolls around again (maybe) for you to share together.
Some may say you should live like today is your last day and part of me agrees. You should enjoy every minute because you don't know when they may end. Living like that is different than living with the knowledge that he may never share another moment with you and you will have to live them alone.
To have it staring in your face every day is like staring in to a black cloud of haze that continues to suck you dry of you.
My ceiling is full of images from our 8 years together. And as I lay here I see flashes of memories we have together. Like a photo album you flip through with each blink. I just pray the images I have aren't all there will ever be.
Now if I could just get the radio to stop playing sappy love songs and change to some partying or drinking songs, I might be able to turn off my mind from thinking this way. Then again it might feel better to throw it against the wall for continuing to help me feel sad and pushing more tears out, onto my pillow that now I need to flip it over so I don't have my cold tears resting on my cheek.
Guess I'll just turn it off instead. Wouldn't want to hurt the wall because that wouldn't help either. Again its goodbye I want to punch.

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Day 3 (3sixty5) Happy Thanksgiving!

Doesn't Jonathan look so amused!? What can I say, he likes to pretend. Lol

Today was a really wonderful day. We had our neighbors, Danielle and Chuck oversight their three kiddos and made a bunch of food. They made the turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, pumpkin pie, stuffing, and biscuits while we made the ham, green bean casserole (Mikes fave!), cherry pie, macaroni, and jello. It was awesome making our first Thanksgiving dinner together. The cherry pie was interesting but good. Haha

It was tough not being with either of our families, but nice to know we can enjoy the day with each other and friends. Now that the day is done, I'm a little sad knowing next year we will be apart, but even more of a reason to enjoy it more than we do. There is so much for us to be grateful for and we are.

Hope everyone else had such a nice day. Now tomorrow it's time to decorate for Christmas. I am not going to join the crazier for Black Friday either. I did it last year, we can take this one off. :0)

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Day 2 (3sixty5)

While waiting at Jayce's Dr's appointment on Wednesday, he kept himself busy (and) happy by playing with the water. When he realized he could reach it was over!
He checked out to be fine. He seemed like he might have a sore throat or issue with his ears, but it was good. He seems to have allergies a little but nothing too bad. They gave us some zyrtec but he won't have it unless he needs it. As of now he seems to be feeling better each day. :0)

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Day 1 (3sixty5)

Bekah is practicing her reading with Daddy. We have to make sure she is at 20wpm for her testing in December and she is past that. We are very proud of her.

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New Design

Finally! I have taken the time to sit down, design my blog, and get it set up the way I want. It has been too long since I wrote on my here but with this last year going as fast as it has, it has me realizing how important it is to really remember and 'freeze' each day with memories. I mean it's already almost 2011!! I don't know why the world keeps spinning faster, but each year I find myself saying, "It feels like just yesterday...." and then ending with a date almost a year ago. It's depressing really because it's all flying by but I am determined to hold on to each one.

I was going to start a 365 project at the first of the year, but why wait!? With each day being one less together before Mike deploys and we have to wait 2 years to have the holiday's together again, now is the time to start and not wait. The only thing missing in our day to day is Michael, and it's tough to have him far away, but it'll be exciting to see him in March and be all together for a couple of weeks.

So tomorrow I will start taking pictures again (atleast 1 per day) and sharing them with what we did that day. Now I warn you, some days will be more boring than others!! LOL We are after all, a military family with school, work, and never enough beach days! :O)

Losing the Battle

Man it feels like my fast turning world is going to crash and shatter soon. This ride is making me sick, literally, and slowly I am becoming a big mess.
Moments each day, I think of life in a few months, I can feel the breath get sucked out of me and fill up with tears. I have done this twice before, and I really wish this crap would get easier. My life has turned back to the consuming fear of this could be our last everything and breaking that fear is incredibly hard. Our last Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, we may not make it past 8 years together, I may never have him to kiss on my birthday again.
The Army wants my husband to leave again and fight, this time in Afghanistan. We have a few months together and then my life will be back to hell. How do you prepare for this crap!?? Like twice before there is no darn answer to that question. I am terrified. I have never felt so scared for a deployment. Maybe it's because I have two babies now....or maybe it's because of where he's going this time....or maybe because you can't help but wonder if his luck will run out 'this time'. Maybe it's the fear of another homecoming and the time it takes to pick up the pieces when he comes home, and the man you fell in love with has changed a little more again. I don't know, but I know I don't want the day to come when I have to watch him walk away from me Again and hope it's not the last time.
I feel so alone, and as an Army wife, you know you're not, but how can you tell others their husband will be fine, when you're trying to convince yourself the same thing. There are no guarantees in anything and I feel like a fraud when I try to be supportive to other ladies asking for my advice and guidance.
Pretend! That's all I know to do. Pretend he's down the street, pretend he'll be there when you wake up, pretend your heart isn't breaking every day, and no matter how much it feels like you are, you aren't losing the battle of keeping it together! I hate pretending....

Penny for Your Thoughts

Today, as a Mommy and Daughter was tough.

My day was full of choking back tears and trying not to lose it at any moment.
Growing up you are always ready to run, ready to leave, and ready to 'start your life'. Along the way people try to tell you not to be in a rush and enjoy your youth, but who wants to listen to that!? Not me.
I loved my life and my childhood but like every kid, I wanted to make my own decisions and be out on my own where no one could tell me what to do, and I could live the free life. That happened, for about 6 months. :O)
Standing there today, my two babies got their first haircuts at a salon, and all I could think was "Where is the rewind button?" I saw it all in fast forward up to that moment and it made me sad to see all that I had missed along the way because I was in a hurry to get to the next moment.

In those few moments, I took it in and my heart was filled with joy and so much happiness I couldn't believe where my life has traveled to. Jayce is 17 months in 3 days, and Bekah is going to be 7. 7!? I can remember where I was, what I was doing, and what I wanted at 7. I wanted it all to hurry up so I could be 8...13...16...18. I hope Bekah doesn't but I know she's a little girl and does. We've already had the conversation how when she is a grown up, she is going to change her name to Penny. LOL She saw it on a show and thinks it's a pretty name and wants it to be hers. I agreed, when she's grown up, she can and I will always remember that moment even though she won't.

Then there is Jayce. My little boy, my heart melter. He lost his baby curls today and to me looks 6 months older! I tear up right now as I think of it because it hurts. He's changing so much, I see it every day and I know he will be grown much faster than I want. He's so handsome with his new haircut, but it's that first official step that he won't be a 'baby' much longer.

Mama's know. Thought of my mom a lot today too. You miss so much of who your parents are when you're a kid, that it really isn't until you have a little angel with ten fingers and ten toes, show you what parents really do for a child. What real parents do because it's through real love, the purest of love, that they want you to be happy.

It is the best gift to my kids if I can help them understand and know that love. When I say I owe everything to them, it's true because without them I wouldn't have been able to feel that love or to understand my Mama's love for me.




After their haircuts with their lollipops. :O)

New Place Called Home

I sure have taken a break from blogging. My life got crazy for a while, that there was a point I just stayed away from the computer. Well that is except to check my facebook and save pictures off my camera.

Life has changed some. We are now in Hawaii stationed at Schofield and settling into our beautiful new home. Right now you probably couldn't tell how much I love it because it's messy, but I try hard to take care of it and have it reflect the way I feel. We're lucky to be in this beautiful place.











We've lived in the house a month and been in Hawaii for 2 months. At first I was quite lost and frustrated with the roads here, but I'm used to them now and whenever I am in doubt I pull out my handy dandy GPS. It drives Mike crazy how much I use it, especially when he thinks I don't need it, but he's the one who thought it'd be a good idea to get it! lol Plus there probably are times that I plug it in and use it just because. ;O)

Michael isn't here with us. He went back to live with his Mom in Florida. It's tough and sad but it was for the best and even though I could share that crappy turn of events, I won't. His mother can share her version if you really want to know. Good luck to those of you who have no idea who she even is!

Moving here we were facing a 3rd deployment but as you read I said 'were'. It's good and bad on several different levels, but at the end of the day I am grateful I won't have to worry about Mike or have him away for another year. Wondering why he isn't deploying still when his unit leaves in a few weeks?? Well that's because my stinkin' husband broke his knee 3 days before we flew to Hawaii.







Yes that is my husband....he's never been good at his timing but it is always a comical turn out. I'm not saying that him breaking his leg and ripping his ACL is funny, but when things turn out crazy sometimes all you can do is find the funny silver lining. He already had his first surgery and is recovering/going through physical therapy but it's a long process. Even though he wants to deploy he won't be fit to for atleast 6 months and that's only if the surgery went well. Time will tell.
As for now we found out today he will be on RearD but if he has anything to say about that, it won't last long.

Rebekah is almost done with school. She has a week left and then will graduate to 1st grade. It's hard watching her and Jayce grow every day. She gets bigger, smarter, and more independent that even though I am proud and grateful, it breaks my heart to know these days and these years are going so quickly. Especially with Bekah Boo because she's already almost 7 and I'll never have her like I did the first day she came home. *sigh* Staying away from that emotion....she loves the Beach!! She loves to swim, and she loves to "Surf". It is only a matter of time before Mike gets her a long board and can teach her how to really surf. I am enjoying the days of just boarding and not having to worry about the ocean swallowing up my baby. Issues?? Yeah I may have a few, but they are just mama fears.

Life has been an adjustment but a beautiful one. It certainly is beautiful here. A lot like most towns and cities in the rest of the US but much prettier views. As I move on each day and try to do a little more to get us settled, I spend many moments just trying to take it in and realize I am really on my own now, with my own family, like a real adult :O) Scary!! lol

Baby vs. Dog

Jayce decided he'd rather have Clemsons chew strip. The whole thing was cute because Clemson is so tender and sweet to Jayce, even when the little terror is taking his food away!

Going in for it...


Jayce really has no idea you should be afraid when reaching in to take the bone out of a puppies mouth! lol


Or maybe he does cause all he gets is a big wet kiss


Clemson nicely waits for his chance to take it back.


There's his chance...


Not over yet, looks like Jayce is going to keep that bone after all


Yep, running away with it *L


Wait, I think Clemson is done with the back and forth?!...


It's Over. The dog wins LOL Jayce is trying to figure out where it went!

Where have I been?

I don't know where I have been or really where the last 12 days have gone since I last blogged, but geeze! Getting older sucks because the days get shorter and even a few dissapear all together. :o)

The last couple weeks have not been quite enjoyable. I have {still am} sick. Fighting the flu/sinus infection that I believe has now rolled into an ear infection. I need to go in and see a Dr. but that will have to wait until Thursday if I am not feeling better. Monkey hasn't been feeling good either. Mike took him in to the ER for a breathing treatment about a week ago because he thought he had croup, but tests came back negative for that and RSV. They think he just had an upper respiratory infection. As of now he is still a little congested and on Benadryl for allergies. Really it has been a sad site to see with both of us looking miserable, I can only imagine how pitiful we both look, but he is still active and keeping me on the chase. *L

Like right now, Monkey has the slobbery wet face from drool and snot {that I wipe constantly} and terrorizing me as I hold him and he wants to yank my glasses off my face. He is certainly a determined little man when there is something he wants. Being sick hasn't slowed him down that way...darn it! :o)

So far we're managing through and keeping up the meds. There have been several hours and days I'd like to dissapear or have a 'replacement mom' to come in and care for the other two rugrats though. Each day getting them off to school, cleaning, homework, and then cooking them their dinner has been a challenge. A challenge that on most days I high five myself after everything is complete, or I pat Mike on the back when he does it! Atleast so far Michael and Rebekah seem to be feeling fine.

I will tell ya, Bekah is in Kindergarten now and that child's teacher gives her more homework than Michael {the 4th grader}. It's frustrating to have to sit with her for an hour or two each night to get it done. I am beginning to wonder what she does IN school. The joys of parenthood...I have homework again. She is doing awesome though. Her handwriting is getting more refined and I love to hear her tell me new things she didn't know before like colors, numbers, and what a platypus is.
Michael is wanting us to sign him up for Cubscouts, so Mike called last night and we will soon have a scout running around the house.

Not too much more has been going on than that lately. I need to upload pictures of the kids and post them on here from this past weekend. It rained all weekend so we spent good family time inside.
If you would like to comment the blog, click on "Thoughts" at the bottom of the blog. Mike asked me the other day if you could and I had to show him where when he was reading on here, so I thought I'd let others know in case you wondered the same thing.

Well till next time!
Auf Wiedersehen :o)

Hibachi Steak and Shrimp

WOW! Dinner was so yummy tonight and I can not wait to have it again!! Mike and I are always missing the little japanese restaurant in Myrtle Beach when we feel like eating japanese, so I decided for our anniversary yesterday that I'd make him hibachi. Well yesteray was a BAD day with Jayce teething and having to go grocery shopping that I made a quick hamburger steak instead and decided tonight I'd make my honey a good dinner. I didn't fail, that's for sure! He loved it.


First you make the Mayo sauce and should let it set over night so the flavors have a chance to blend. All you need is:

1 - 1 1/4 cup of Hellman's mayo. {Yes it should be Hellman's because then it won't taste so much like mayo.}
1/4 cup water
1 teaspoon tomato paste
1 tablespoon melted butter
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon paprika
dash cayenne pepper
{Don't leave out the dash of cayenne pepper...it needs it!}



Mix all the ingredients until it's well blended and smooth. See! It looks just like the mayo sauce you get in the restaurants. :o) If you don't let it sit over night, it will still taste alright, but not the same.



Then for the meat all you need is
Steak meat
Shrimp or Chicken (whichever you want)
I used the large salad shrimp, because of the kids, but you use the size you like
1 large zucchini, cut into chunks or slices
1 medium sweet onion, cut into chinks or slices

For the sauce to marinate the meat:
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup water
1 tablespoon sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Mix until well blended and then put your cut meat in to marinate for atleast an hour or over night.




You can use a wok, or large skillet, or electric griddle to cook the meat and veggies on. I just spooned the meat onto the griddle, and left some sauce in the bowl for the veggies. I then took the excess juice and tossed the zucchini and onions around a little and let them sit while I cooked up the shrimp and steak.





Mike cooking up the veggies for us while I got Jayce to bed...Gotta love him! He loves to be in the kitchen to help me, even when the dinner was for him.



After cooking the meat, you cook up the veggies until the zucchini gets soft yet still a little crunchy {you don't want them soggy...yuck!} About 8-10 minutes each. Then just dish it up with a side of rice, pour your mayo sauce on top {or off to the side to dip} and you are done...Japanese Hibachi ready to eat!! Enjoy! {I did!} :o)

The Long Walk

Picking up the kids from school today was, yet again, a j.o.b.!! I told them I'd be there this afternoon and Michael took it as I was 'picking' them up in the car. Ahhhh children. They knew Mike had the car today and that they weren't walking alone, so instead of walking to the crosswalk where I was waiting to meet them, they went in the school and someone called me. I knew right away when the phone rang it was the school. So I of course had to walk further. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the walk when it's not too hot, but I wasn't feeling too great this afternoon and didn't want to be in the heat very long.

After a few minutes they emerged from the school so I stopped where I was and waited for them to get to me. I was tired and more than ready to get home, so they made sure to walk! LOL {Probably because I told them to not run anymore.}



I brought Clemson along for the walk, thinking it'd be quick, and even he was tired of waiting in the heat! lol Monkey was loving the walk, which he always does.



They were pretty excited to see him there and had to show him loving before we could walk back.




And like a good Mommy I let them stop at the housing office to get their daily snack of cookies. Makes it easy for me because their snack is covered! So really I guess it's worth it for me to stop as much as it is for them. :o)






Then after we got home Michael was a sweetheart and helped keep Jayce happy so I could get dinner started. {Really...he's grounded and didn't have a choice, but still helpful!} All in all it was a good night, with a delicious dinner!

Teething Terrors!

Hey Hey!!


So far today has been quiet {shhhh! don't jinx it!}

Jayce seems to be feeling much better. Either that or all the whiskey on his gums has him feeling good. :o) I am ONLY kidding. He's only had tylenol and orajel, but has not been screaming today like he was yesterday, which is always a wonderful thing for me! I think this boy is cutting 4 teeth on top and it's yet to be seen if the two bottom ones are trying to come up because only the top seems to be bothering him. *sigh* I hate seeing him uncomfortable and am more than ready to be done with teething! Thanks to a lot of friends and advice, there are several more remedies we can try to relieve his pain if needed. One being an onion!



It's suppose to rain today, but actually getting rain here is llike waiting for a flower to bloom. You just go about your days and one day it will just pop up! Watch it pop up when I have to leave to walk and pick up Bekah and Michael from school. Now that she has decided not to stay with him and he has decided to pay his friends more attention on the walk home, I Have to walk down to the school to make sure nothing happens to my babes. After the other day, it will probably be a while before they walk alone again!

It's funny because Rebekah gets mad {upset} when I walk with them or pick them up in the car because she likes to walk...I think it's because when Mom is there, she has to behave. lol Either way, it'll help me lose weight.


I am trying to think of what we might do this weekend for Labor day, and with Mike off for 3 days, it'll be nice to have him off for an extended weekend again. He is NCOIC of the ER right now and is back on a regular 6-6 schedule for about a month. It's nice, but I admit I miss having him home some days and it's just Jayce, him, and I for a few hours. Last weekend we went to the Lake and Mount Scott so I know the kids might want to do something different. I will have to post some pictures from that later.




You should see my monkey right now! He is pulling himself up on the couch and walking along my legs to the coffee table. The boy isn't even crawling yet really!! Just power scooting, and he's already trying to walk. *another sigh* Too fast, it's all going too fast.


Well I need to eat lunch and get dinner "started" so it can marinate. Hibachi steak and shrimp tonight! YUM!

The right road?

I think I tend to be someone who lets things slip through my fingers way too easily. Especially when it's something that is directly just for me. I don't take the risk for myself anymore, afraid it will bring a bad outcome to those around me who I love.
I have got to get past that.
If I don't I won't achieve an ounce of everything I want to in this life. That is certainly not the mindset I want to pass to my children and I would hate to watch my flaws be passed on to them.

Things in this life can be so complicated and us as people, only make it worse. When it comes to dreams and goals, no matter how hard and scary it may be to try, it has to be taken on. My life as a mom and wife are great. I love my children and husband very much and making them happy truly makes me happy. Any mother who can look at their child and not care how their actions affect that little life they brought into this world, they are seriously confused on what being a mother truly is. Making them happy and providing them with all the love and confidence I can offer is my greatest 'duty'. Here is the but...But where is the line that giving up all of you is not the best for them?

It is such a struggle every day to know that what I decide tomorrow could be a huge impact on their life. There is the expression "In a perfect world" but when you are a parent the only thing in this world that is perfect is your babies pure and innocent smile.
So as I go on tomorrow, and plan to chase my dreams and passions more, I hope that I am lead down the right road so that I can look back and not wish I'd taken a different direction...for them and for myself.